Teaching Michael Mondays (2/1) -- Two Cats, One Apartment, with a Man Who Can't Cook

Once upon a time in the Goldman family household, yours truly decided she wanted a second cat, so that Snoop Dogg could have someone to play with. Mama Goldman promptly decided to window-shop, and then foster a cat on my behalf, who I attempted to dub, "Ludacris." Now, long story short, Snoop Dogg and Ludacris had a MASSIVE beef -- and so I now have a happy Snoop Dogg dominated, single-cat household.

Why do I bring up this story? Well, this past weekend, "Mocha" - the cat formerly known as Ludacris, and our 6-toed bundle of kitten-craziness, Parker, went to live with Michael.

Yes, two cats in one apartment, with a man who can't cook. Watch out ladies, he's got an in-suite washer and dryer, too (Me-ow!)

Michael's newest roommates bring me to this week's lesson: storing food -- important normally, imperative when you have cats.

Since the move on Saturday, Michael has already lost a 5 lbs bag of flour when one of his "darlings" splashed water from the dish that he had set out -- soaking the flour through not only its original packaging, but also a plastic bag that Michael had been storing it in.

Michael is not alone: I once placed a frantic phone call to my parents at 5:30 am because Snoop Dogg, the dear sweet troublemaker that she is, decided to eat 7 Hershey kisses from a mug I had been keeping on my counter. [Chocolate IS toxic to cats, but darker varieties are exponentially more dangerous.]

There's also been multiple occasions where Snoop Dogg has gone after cookies. The first time, they were on the counter in a Ziploc; she clawed through the bag to get at them. The second time, I thought I was being smarter -- I had the cookies in tuperware: nope, the container didn't stand a chance. I woke up to cookies strewn and half eaten all over the floor.

So what can the cat-loving home cook do? I tend to assume that Snoop Dogg is a ninja, and if a container is left of the counter, she WILL break into it. As such, I keep my kitchen obscenely clean. I also tuck "goodies" away either in the fridge, or in cabinets. Things should be double wrapped and away from the edge of the counter. I'd also recommend looking into household plants/foods that are poisonous to cats.

So Michael, and my readers with cats, take heed. It's THEIR kitchen, we're just cooking in it.