My brother recently emailed links to 60 hysterical jokes about everyone's favorite gastronomical guru. The web pages can be found here and here, but I've decided to showcase the ones I liked best:
- Alton Brown grinds his own peppercorns. With his teeth.
- Alton Brown doesn't reduce sauces. He demoralizes sauces.
- Alton Brown's blender has four speeds: 'stir', 'mix', 'frappe', and 'plasmify'.
- Grown men have been known to weep for joy in the mere presence of Alton Brown's vinagrette. His hollandaise sauce can kill a man from sheer ecstacy at forty paces.
- Alton Brown's cakes don't rise. They ascend.
- Alton Brown's show is called 'Good Eats', because 'Multiple Shuddering Mouthgasms' didn't play with the network's target demographic.
- Gordon Ramsay calls Alton Brown 'sir'.
- The Eskimos have fifty words for 'snow'. Alton Brown has fifty words for 'kosher salt'.
