Some Fun with Alton Brown

Chuck Norris jokes are a relatively common meme. But have you heard the ones about Food Network personality, Alton Brown?

My brother recently emailed links to 60 hysterical jokes about everyone's favorite gastronomical guru. The web pages can be found here and here, but I've decided to showcase the ones I liked best:

• Alton Brown grinds his own peppercorns. With his teeth.
• Alton Brown doesn't reduce sauces. He demoralizes sauces.
• Alton Brown's blender has four speeds: 'stir', 'mix', 'frappe', and 'plasmify'.
• Grown men have been known to weep for joy in the mere presence of Alton Brown's vinagrette. His hollandaise sauce can kill a man from sheer ecstacy at forty paces.
• Alton Brown's cakes don't rise. They ascend.
•  Alton Brown's show is called 'Good Eats', because 'Multiple Shuddering Mouthgasms' didn't play with the network's target demographic.
• Gordon Ramsay calls Alton Brown 'sir'.
• The Eskimos have fifty words for 'snow'. Alton Brown has fifty words for 'kosher salt'.