Brian's Slightly Homicidal Juice Cleanse

Once upon a time, a nice man named Brian did a juice cleanse --- and for what we can only imagine was a complete and utter lapse in usually sound judgment --- agreed to document it for my use.

This was Brian's first cleanse - in fact, he'd previously been openly vocal about how ridiculous cleanses are, not seeing the point of having to drink juice when you could easily just eat the fruits and vegetables.

A relatively healthy individual, Brian is a dutiful gym goer and meal planner, although he's the first to admit his more committed moments come in waves:

"If I wanted to lose weight, I wouldn't go through the pain and agony that people go through when doing a juice cleanse, I would just cut out carbs and eat healthy." 

Tasty!

The Gameplan:

• Six juices a day
• One juice every 3 hours from 7:30am to 7:30pm (five juices) with one juice split with two time periods
• Three days -- over #StormJonas weekend [ya know, because its super fun to drink JUICE when everyone else plans on weathering the blizzard with booze]

The Flavors (originally planned to be drunk in listed order):

• Lucky Seven -- carrot, pineapple, pear, orange, ginger, beet, lemon
• Gravity -- celery, cucumber, lemon, kale and E3Live
• Doctor Earth -- apple, kale, cucumber, celery, pineapple, Swiss chard, lemon, dandelion, parsley and ginger 
• Glo -- grapefruit, lemon and orange
• Fountain of Youth -- coconut water, strawberry, banana, raspberry, blueberry, agave nectar, hemp protein and coconut oil
• Love at First Sight -- carrot, pineapple, pear, orange, ginger, beet, lemon

DAY 1

Even though yours truly thinks a weekend [read: snowstorm] cleanse is particularly masochistic, Brian thought it would be easier than during the week when people are around, work is crazy and vendors are bringing in all kinds of food (and hey, some people like it that way). He also brought up the point that this was weekend where he didn't have plans and could focus on punishing himself in the comfort of his own home. 

Brian: 

On Thursday night I had put all of the juices in order based on how I thought they would taste.  I chose what I thought would be the disgusting ones first (start of day to get them over with), the good tasting last (end of day) and the one juice I thought would be best, I put that right in the middle to break up the day.  Friday morning comes, and I could not have been more inaccurate.  Chronologically, the first two juices were the best tasting, the second juice being the best of the six which was called Fountain of Youth.  After that juice it was all uphill.  Not only uphill, but at times uphill carrying 7 bags of bricks, blindfolded and missing one leg.  The two worst juices were called Doctor Earth and Gravity - Gravity being the ultimate worst of the six.

     Some Day 1 Flavor Reviews

Doctor "I Am Going To Make You My Little Bitch" Juice:  Way too many flavors going on here that all add up to a mouth full of a disgusting science experiment that only on paper would be amazing.  Everything is healthy, yes.  Everything is good for you, yes.  But all together?  Too much! Second of all, do they think I am in a lab, naked, hooked up to wires and treated like a circus animal?  Dandelions?  Really?  What's next, eating tulips, branches, bark from the trees and mulch from the side of the yard?

Gravity:  Simple ingredients, but when put together you want to stab yourself in the eyes 17 times while throwing up on yourself because covering yourself with blood and puke will actually be a more positive than the feeling you are experiencing at the moment.  Also key fact, for those of you who don't know what E3Live is: it is algae. Just call the %$^&ing thing algae if its going to taste like sh*t covered in grass mixed around in shit.

Darling readers, it seems the once 

mind-mannered Brian may be homicidal.

Let's continue to observe his journey, shall we?

At the end of day 1, I had mixed feelings. I was proud of myself for not only completing one day on a new health cleanse that I previously said I would never do and didn't understand.  I was also starving, and I mean STARVING.  My worst times were between late morning and early afternoon as well as after my last juice at night.  The company said that if you are starving while you are waiting for your next juice, just keep drinking water.  Yeah... didn't really help me at all.  I was dreading day 2 because I now knew what to expect, and the thought of the more disgusting juices made me want to pull out a gun and shoot myself in the foot because a slow death of bleeding out would have been less painful compared to those juices.

DAY 2

I switched the order of the juices. Knowing how they all tasted, I mixed them up with an on and off approach - good tasting juice first, bad juice, good, bad, etc.  When I say, "good" I really mean, "tolerable."  When I say. "bad," I really mean, "so %$^&ing disgusting that I hope this company goes under tomorrow." 

I am an all or nothing guy, extreme to one end or the other.  Hardly anything in between and hardly any room for moderation.  I was either going to stick with this cleanse 100% or I wasn't going to do it at all.  The last thing I would have done was start this cleanse and quit early - that was not an option.  

The company warns you that 50% of people feel extremely tired and drained while cleansing.  This is because this cleanse, although giving you every nutrient the body needs, is a liquid diet and due to the lack of solids, the body shuts down a bit.  (You are shocking the body.) The other 50% of people feel the exact opposite -- they are more energetic and feel like they just ran a mile. 

I personally had highs and lows from both sides of the spectrum.  I felt very tired late afternoon and late night during Day 1.  Silver lining: for the most part during Day 2, I felt great and was semi-energized. 

DAY 3

I felt the same, drank the juice in the same order and basically just kept drinking every 3 hours because I wanted to finish this cleanse and get it over with. 

I purposely haven't weighed myself since Friday morning. I'll weigh myself tomorrow morning and see. My luck I probably gained weight.

All of these new fads and new health diets may not be the greatest things in the world.  I mean, in 5 years from now something may come out where mixing sand or pebbles into your hot tea will cause you to not only lose 10 pounds in 12 hours but it is good for your digestive system.  Get a life!  What happened to normalization???!!

THE AFTERMATH AND REVIEW

Whew, what a weekend. The big questions -- how was it, and would you do it again? I still feel that if I wanted to lose weight, I'd cut out carbs and fats so, no, I do not plan on doing a juice cleanse again.  That being said, despite my previous statements about punishing and killing myself over bad tasting dandelions, I do feel good overall.  I would rather start a healthy diet like I have done in the past rather than a cleanse.  However, a cleanse like this is a damn good prelude to starting a diet. 

I used to question why a person can't just eat fruits and vegetables instead of buying these juices that have been blended down to liquid form, and I no longer think this way, at least not entirely. It is much easier to have a juice with the fruits and vegetables that one would normally want to eat.  In today's world of no wait time and being constant bustle, you can just grab the juice and go as an all-in-one meal. More importantly, I think the point, at least for me, is that yes I do eat fruits and vegetables but not consistently enough or in volumes like I would with a juice. The point of juicing is that you have everything you need in one bottle, and I think it is more consistent of a process than the one-offs of "I will have a banana today and grapes tomorrow."  With a juice, you have 5-6 different kinds of veggies and fruits in that one meal.

You mentioned your scale -- any weight loss? I dropped 3 pounds (I expected 4-6).  But I did the cleanse to lead into a healthy diet, so it is a smoother transition and allow me to lose weight in the process.  

Would you recommend this particular juice cleanse?  Sure, because everything is worth a try.  Life is all about trying new things but also sticking with what you know works.  I know that when I eat certain foods and incorporate exercise, I can be in great shape.  I know my body.  Why change that if that is what works for you?  At the same time, I now think that trying something new, one of these new innovative fad diets, doesn't really hurt.  As much as the "middle of the road" doesn't really work for an extremist like myself, I think the plan that you stick with that you know works can always be tweaked a little if it is for the better.

You go, Glenn Coco

Many thanks and some serious kudos to Brian for this post. Comment below if you've enjoyed his journey!

My Sharing Network 5K

Today, I completed two 5Ks (one running, one walking) to show support for the NJ Sharing Network, a non-profit, federally designated organ procurement organization, that is responsible for the recovery of organs and tissue for the nearly 5,000 New Jersey residents currently awaiting transplantation.

Donations from the race raised over $1 million to support organ donations in NJ. If you're interested in supporting the NJ Sharing Network, please visit http://www.njsharingnetwork.org/.

For those tracking my running progress, I finished the race in 35:40. Of that time, I ran for 33:50, which means my total time walking was less than 2 minutes!

Post race picture

Two 5Ks means noms for days 

Progress on Weight Watchers

Since joining Weight Watchers in June 2013, I have lost:

• 18.4 pounds
• 3 Dress Sizes
• 0.7 inches off my thighs (each)
• 2 inches off my arms (each)
• 3.7 inches off my bust
• 3 inches off my waist
• 3.85 inches off my hips

I'm pretty pleased. Feel free to check out my breakdown of the program here. I'm a big supporter, so if you have any questions, let me know!

Saying "Goodbye" to my WW Meetings for 5 Months

Goodness, it has been QUITE a while since my last post. I am truly sorry, dear readers, for my absence. My situation changed quite a bit.

Just before Christmas, the CEO of my company asked me to transfer to our Israel offices for 5 months to work for the firm's clients from that locale. It was a tremendous opportunity, and I took it.

The next few weeks were a whirlwind of activity. Booking flights, finding an apartment in Israel, sorting out work responsibilities, moving OUT of my current apartment, saying goodbye to everyone. My diet and exercise regiment suffered.

Eventually the days wound down to my last WW meeting, which had become a pretty stable and integral part of my life since the summer. Weight Watchers is an international company, with locations around the globe, but I didn't think I'd be able to keep up with meetings with a more insane schedule, so I had switched my membership over to solely online.

Now in an ideal world, I would've come into this last WW meeting completely confident and ready to tackle this new international adventure with all my weight-loss and healthy lifestyle tricks by my side --- everything that the last few months had taught me. There'd be a great loss on the scale, which would be this fantastic harbinger (SAT Vocab word, y'all) of all the fitness/weight loss success that I'd have in Tel Aviv.......

Yeah, that didn't quite happen.

 My weight was up, and not by .2 pounds, either. And it was tough. The move to Israel was already feeling like an uphill battle --- I don't know many people in the country, I don't speak the language, and I need to be a functioning employee --- and now I need to really concentrate on my weight loss goals.

But putting additional pressure on myself to get "there" by a certain point isn't the way to do it.

Weight loss and the commitment to a healthier lifestyle is ongoing process, and it's not easy. There's give and take, and ups and downs. The most important motivation is remembering why you started the journey at all.

I know I did, but you'll have to keep reading to see my Israel updates!

Jenny Craig pivots away from celebs in ads

This article was originally featured in USA Today on August 13, 2013. I have reposted because I'm curious to hear everyone's thoughts. Feel free to comment below.

JENNY CRAIG PIVOTS AWAY FROM CELEBS IN ADS

Bruce Horovitz, USA TODAY
 August 13, 2013

JENNY CRAIG WANTS TO ZIG WHERE OTHER WEIGHT-LOSS SPECIALISTS ZAG, BY CUTTING WAY BACK ON THE USE OF CELEBRITY ENDORSERS IN ITS ADS.

Quick: Which weight-loss company has featured actress Valerie Bertinelli in its ads?

Or Jennifer Hudson? Or Mariah Carey? Or, ugh, big, bad Charles Barkley?

If you're not sure, you've got plenty of company. That's one major reason why Jenny Craig, which uses Bertinelli, announced that it will feature far fewer celebs going forward and, instead, will roll out a new animated advertising campaign that comes without the big celebrity endorsement fees.

(If you're keeping score, Hudson and Barkley have starred for Weight Watchers and Carey for Jenny Craig.)

At issue: Can consumers remember which highly paid celebs hype which products? Or, even more central: Are celebrity endorsers worth all the dough? According to the folks at Ace Metrix, spokes-celebs may be doing a lot more to help their own bottom lines than the products they hype.

Overall, ads without celebrities rate slightly better with consumers than ads with celebrities, according to a recent study by Ace Metrix, a syndicated ad testing specialist. While the average Ace Metrix score of all celebrity spots in the study was 515, the average score for ads without celebs ranked slightly higher, at 529.

"Celebrities can be very polarizing," explains Peter Daboll, CEO of Ace Metrix. So, if half the consumers love the celeb in a spot — and half hate the star, he says, "you're cutting off half of your potential audience."

Among the most polarizing celebs, he says: Tiger Woods, Kim Kardashian, Justin Bieber and Sarah Jessica Parker.

When clients ask Daboll whether to use a celeb in a spot, he says he offers one word of advice: don't. "A good story always works better than just slapping a celebrity in an ad."

But celebrity broker Noreen Jenny Laffey, president of Celebrity Endorsement Network, says it's not that simple — particularly with weight-loss ad campaigns. "The problem isn't the celebrity," she says, but the fact that celebs in weight-loss ads all pretty much do and say the same thing: I used this product, and I lost weight.

That's not only boring — but also confusing. "It's hard when you have competitive products using celebrities to basically say the same thing," she says. The cola and sneaker giants face these same problems, she notes. "You need to do something totally different that stands out."

Not easy. So Jenny Craig's new marketing chief, Leesa Eichberger, turned to the ad agency Havas Worldwide New York for something different. The new, animated ads will focus on the company's food and its one-on-one support. Gone: all the bright lights, celebrity spokespeople and requisite "before and after" imagery, Eichberger says.

Daboll, the numbers-crunching CEO at Ace Metrix, says it has a decent shot at working — if only because it's not just another overweight celebrity bragging about losing some tonnage. "I'd suggest it's a smart move."

Does Weight Watchers really work?

A few months ago, I asked if any of my readers could share their experiences with Weight Watchers. I'd been plateaued with my own weight loss for several months and was thinking of switching from counting calories, to counting points.

I'm pleased to announce that I have been a member of Weight Watchers and have lost 8 pounds in 2 months.

I'd like to give my critique of the program, and why I think it's been working for me.

Instead of counting calories, people on WW count points. A point number is given to you during the registration process -- depending on your weight, height, age, and gender. I have 28 points to consume each day. In addition to your daily points limit, WW'ers are also given 49 "anytime" points each week to use for special cheats and splurges. It's also possible to earn "activity" points by exercising.

I have 28 points a day. Every food's given point value is based on its macro nutrient values -- specifically the protein to carb to fiber to fat ratio. 

As a previous calorie counter, It was a shift in thinking when I switched to counting points. I find that I care less about calories -- and more about the quality of food that I'm putting in my body. 

I do have two critiques though. First, because exercise is counted in points, I don't think you get as "much" back when you work out. For instance, 50 minutes on the elliptical could easily burn around 550 calories, right? That's the caloric equivalent of a Big Mac from McDonald's. That same intense 50 minute elliptical workout is only going to get me about 4 activity points -- which is the equivalent of just ONE of the following: 2 slices wheat bread, 4 oz chicken, 2 eggs, or a glass of wine. That being said, I never feel unsatisfied, because I do have my anytime points that I can dip into if I choose to.

The other critique is the alcohol factor. I'm a big wine drinker, so when I was counting calories, I'd make sure that I had about 300 calories left for two glasses of wine if I went out on a date or out with girlfriends. 300 calories is not that much of a sacrifice - when I was counting calories, I'd simply plan ahead and go to the gym to put in a half an hour of cardio. However, Alcohol in WW tends to be rated much higher because it lacks protein or fiber...... so a glass of wine is 4 points. 2 glasses is 8 -- that's how many I get for lunch! 

The bottom line is I really do like and support the program. I think it's easy to follow, and really forces you to say, "Do I really want that," and "Is it worth it" -- you know? I also believe the program encourages you to think of weight loss and healthy eating on both the daily and weekly platforms, because you do have to plan ahead. Also the meetings are an amazing support. 

Hey, Fat Girl!

I found this post at flintland.blogspot.com, and had to steal it. This is by far the most motivating thing I've read in a very long time.

Hey, Fat Girl.

Yes, you. The one feigning to not see me when we cross paths on the running track. The one not even wearing sports gear, breathing heavy. You’re slow, you breathe hard and your efforts at moving forward make you cringe.

You cling shyly to the furthest corridor, sometimes making larger loops on the gravel ring by the track just so you’re not on it. You sweat so much that your hair is all wet. You rarely stay for more than 20 minutes at a time, and you look exhausted when you leave to go back home. You never talk to anyone. I’ve got something I’d like to say to you.

You are awesome.

If you’d look me in the eye only for an instant, you would notice the reverence and respect I have for you. The adventure you have started is tremendous; it leads to a better health, to renewed confidence and to a brand new kind of freedom. The gifts you will receive from running will far exceed the gigantic effort it takes you to show up here, to face your fears and to bravely set yourself in motion, in front of others.

You have already begun your transformation. You no longer accept this physical state of numbness and passivity. You have taken a difficult decision, but one that holds so much promise. Every hard breath you take is actually a tad easier than the one before, and every step is ever so slightly lighter. Each push forward leaves the former person you were in your wake, creating room for an improved version, one that is stronger, healthier and forward-looking, one who knows that anything is possible.

You’re a hero to me. And, if you’d take off the blaring headphones and put your head up for more than a second or two, you would notice that the other runners you cross, the ones that probably make you feel so inadequate, stare in awe at your determination. They, of all people, know best where you are coming from. They heard the resolutions of so many others, who vowed to pick up running and improve their health, “starting next week”. Yet, it is YOU who runs alongside, who digs from deep inside to find the strength to come here, and to come back again.

You are a runner, and no one can take that away from you. You are relentlessly moving forward. You are stronger than even you think, and you are about to be amazed by what you can do. One day, very soon, maybe tomorrow, you’ll step outside and marvel at your capabilities. You will not believe your own body, you will realize that you can do this. And a new horizon will open up for you. You are a true inspiration.

I bow to you.

Seeking Advice: Weight Watchers?

Hey fellow Fitness Enthusiasts!

First of all, Happy Holidays to all. I had a lovely Hanukkah with my friends and family. And per tradition, my  family celebrated Christmas by having cheese fondue. Usually. we make it from a mix. This year, however, we made homemade fondue from a recipe. It was different than previous years, but also quite good.

Second, I turn to my readers for advice. As you all know, I lost twenty pounds by using the free online fitness/nutrition logging website, myfitnesspal.com. Now, I love MFP, and clearly, I have advocated the website several times on this blog. However, I have been plateaued for several months, and I'd like to break this plateau.

I've been thinking of joining weight watchers. Can anyone give me some of their experiences with the weight watchers program? Pros? Cons? Anecdotes? I'd love to hear them all.

Wishing everyone a continued happy and healthy holiday season,

New Workout: Trail Running

Hi Guys,

I wanted to share this amazing new workout my friend Brittany showed me this past weekend. It's called Trail Running. Essentially, you go hiking on a trail in a park or nature preserve, but run during the flatter parts of the trail. 

Does it sound intimidating? Yes. Is it also invigorating and easier than you think it is? Yes. Here's why.

The object of trail running is NOT to break your neck. So, rough terrain forces you to slow down and walk for stretches of the trail. Now, in street running, walking usually means a significant decrease in heart rate and difficulty, but trail running, you're still hiking -- so you're still pushing yourself to burn those calories in an intense workout. 

The other good thing about trail running is that you're not focusing on the pain. Most beginning runners, myself included, have issues getting past a certain point because they hit a mental block that is hard to push past. On the trails, you must focus on your feet -- and watch out for rocks and roots -- so that you almost don't notice the time passing or the exertion. 

Brittany and I did an hour and a half trail run. According to our heart rate monitors, I burned 1000 calories, while she burned 1100. Can you beat our records?

See below for a short video for tips on how to get started. 

My Weight Loss Technique

I’ve mentioned before that I’ve lost 20 pounds by becoming a member of the free weight loss/social media community Myfitnesspal.com. Today’s forum discussions on MFP have centered on what number of calories a person should eat when dieting, how to determine that number, and why a person should not go below a certain number.

Now, I am not a doctor. I have had no medical training. However, I am a recovering eating disorder patient, who has seen multiple nutritionists, dietitians, and doctors over the years. I am sharing with you the science that I have learned by multiple medical sources.

The reason why diets tend to fail is that the dieter assumes that if he or she simply eats less and exercises more, than the weight will come off. This thinking is only a few steps away from dieting extremes. Let me explain: If eating less calories results in weight loss, than the unhealthy extreme would be to eat the bare minimum – an eating disorder behavior which will force your body into ‘starvation mode’.  In the same vein, if exercising more results in weight loss, than the unhealthy extreme would be to burn all the calories that you have eaten – another behavior associated with the eating disorder exercise bulimia.

To lose weight in a healthy way, you need to EAT. And eat ENOUGH. It’s a hard concept to wrap ones head around. I remember the shock I had when I realized that after swimming laps, I actually needed to eat a second dinner to meet my calorie and nutrient requirements for the day.

Try thinking of it this way: in order to lose weight, the body needs to be in peak condition so that it can ‘streamline’ itself. To be in peak condition, you need to hydrate it, feed it, and feed it the right nutrients.

So how many calories do you need to net? There are two important numbers to calculate when determining how many calories you need to eat when starting a weight loss plan: Your BMR, and TDEE.

BMR -- the Basal Metabolic Rate – is how many calories you burn if you just sit and breathe all day -- you should NET at least this number.  (Total Calories Eaten – Total Calories Burned = Total Calories Netted)

I found this great website which calculates your BMR: http://www.bmi-calculator.net/bmr-calculator/

TDEE -- Total Daily Energy Expenditure –This is how many calories you should eat to stay at your same weight: http://www.bmi-calculator.net/bmr-calculator/harris-benedict-equation/

When you deduct the recommended 250 – 500 calories each day (for a half a pound, to a pound of healthy weight loss each week), you should do so from your TDEE – as long as deducting those calories keeps you eating at a calorie level between your BMR and TDEE.

Of course, losing weight is not as easy as simple math – sodium and water also affect the number on the scale. (Too much sodium causes water retention, so make sure you’re getting enough water to ‘flush out’ sodium).

As I said, I’m not a medical professional. But this approach has been approved by medical professionals and has worked for me. 

Before

After

MyFitnessPal.com

I made a major change to include healthy eating and fitness into my lifestyle in July of 2011. Since then, I have lost twenty pounds, participated in my first 5K, and gained self-confidence.

The most important thing I’ve learned in my weight loss journey is that tracking eating and exercise is paramount. Yes, I used to read -- and disbelieve -- that tracking tip in magazines, but when I decided that I wanted to make a change that would stick, I knew I would have to track my progress diligently. I joined the free weight loss tracking site, myfitnesspal.com. And I have to say, that I would have given up MONTHS ago without MFP and the support system of my MFP friends.

MFP is an interesting website. I’ve never done Weight Watchers, so perhaps someone else can make a comparison, but MFP asks you to input your goals, your stats, and creates a personalized calorie, carb, protein, and fat limit for each day. Once you’re started, MFP allows you to personalize your profile, and connect with fellow MFP users over discussion boards and private messages. In addition, MFP has a database of foods to plug into your diary – including meals you consume in common chain restaurants.

To top it off, MFP not only posts your achievements – weight loss, calorie burns, and days logged – for everyone to see, but in addition the site’s platform makes it possible for other MFP users to congratulate you on your successes along the way.

Losing weight is hard. Very hard. Not only are bad eating habits hard to break, but it’s hard to lose weight even if a dieter is following a weight loss plan or doing everything he’s supposed to be doing. People progress discouragingly slowly, people binge and fall off the wagon, people gain on holidays, people get bored with restrictive diets, people give up, or people get swept up in fad diets that promise a 10 pound loss in three days. However, MFP has worked for me, and I'd love to hear any stories from anyone who's had experience, either with MFP or with another weight loss website.